Forget HGH, bath salts, jimjams, cockroach or whatever you young people are using to heighten sex these days. There is nothing more adrenaline-inducing and endorphin-triggering than doing the dirty on camera. Imagine the feeling that you get when you steal an expensive DSLR camera from Dick Smith (RIP) and step outside without the alarm going off. For a split second, your heart beats out of your chest and you feel like you can take on the world. Now imagine stretching that feeling out for 15-20 minutes. iamnaughty That’s my reality.
I’ll be the first to tell you I’m not exactly “in shape”. In fact, I’m probably what you would call “fat”. I’m also very pale and have a fair amount of red “speckling” on my backside from ingrown hairs. My wife is also very insecure. While she’s gorgeous to me, she doesn’t always have time for proper “lady maintenance”. That means the hedges don’t always get pruned. And yet, the love from our loyal and adoring fans always make us feel as attractive as any movie star.
. when the camera is off and the mood hits us just right. we know it’s time for dirty business to become sweet, sweet love making. I light candles, put on some early Dannii Minogue and it’s on.
Twice now I’ve had to visit the emergency room with deep scratches she’s left on my back. She just loses all control knowing that others are watching, turning into a wild and insatiable animal with a hunger for the primal. Scratches heal, but the sensation of her biting the nipple ring out of my chest as I climax is something I’ll never forget.
While we’re not exactly popular when it comes to the more prudish section of our community (church, community theatre, Dick Smith stores), we do get invited to all types of cool parties. It was a bit awkward in the beginning, I must admit, weeding out those who wanted us for our company versus those who only invited us because they thought we were crazy sex maniacs would put on a show on their coffee table if given enough wine.
But after clarifying that we are just a normal couple who would only do that sort of thing in our own home, those crazy expectations seem to have subsided.
For 17 hours a day my wife and I bare our souls to the world. There’s a beautiful and cathartic simplicity in that. If I have nothing to hide, then I have no reason to lie, no reason to put up walls that keep people from getting to know the real me, ass speckles and all.
So when I can’t attend your kid’s party because I just don’t feel like it, I won’t make up an excuse, I’ll just tell the truth: I can’t make it to your kid’s party because I hurt myself last night trying to do the “helicopter” on the wife.
When I can’t attend your kid’s party because I just don’t feel like it, I won’t make up an excuse, I’ll just tell the truth: I can’t make it to your kid’s party because I hurt myself last night trying to do the “helicopter” on the wife.
While we don’t charge viewers, we do take tips for special requests. And we get a lot of them. Some are fairly harmless. “Kiss her. ”, “Lick him. ”, “Put a pumpkin on his head”…